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Choose Your Quote

• NEW: Speaking of fabulous, how are your breasts today?
• NEW: If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, BEHOLD BITCHES!
• Hey boobs! Stop staring at my face!
• I'm so magic I puke rainbows and shit pixie dust.
• Deal with it, muggle-f*@ker!
• Why pray, when you can Google?
• Handle with care: Contains awesomeness.
• You're like a slinky: Pointless and useless, but you bring a smile to my face when I push you down the stairs.
• You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules.
• All I want out of life is ice cream and cuddles. Is it too much to ask?
• It's not sweat. It's my aura glistening.
• I'm so cute. Look how fucking cute I am, mother fucker!
• Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.
• Jellyfish are attacking. Everybody grab your ice cream guns.
• Vegetarians will be the first to go.
• I bet you wish you could wear a onesie and look this good.
• I'm so happy I could sh*t a puppy.
• Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.
• Don't leave the duck there. Its totally irresponsible.
• Gin helps... everything."
• Hold me. I want you to feel greatness.
• Don't judge me by the friends I keep. Judge me by the enemies I have slain!
• I'm not waving at you. I'm just building up for the big f*@king slap you're gonna get.
• I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside me.
• I'm gonna have a great day. Don't you f*@k it up.
• It's cake o'clock! All day long.
• I'm the reason why there are so many adjectives for awesome.
• Your blue sky thinking is blighted with dark clouds of piss-poor ideas.
• My badger's gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!
• Ninjas in stilettos: Fashion assassins! Not so stealthy, but oh so stylish!
• Here I am! Perfection on two legs.
• You know, it's a human race. And you lost.
• Right, like I joined to get fit. I joined for the mirrors!
• Yeah, keep looking. It doesn't get any better than this.
• Disco ain't dead. It's just waiting for the beat to get funky again.
• I'm going to have to call an intervention on your stupidness. I think it will take the form of a brick.
• I'm in a totally zen-like state. Can't you tell how f*@king zen I am?!
• Your three steps to happiness: Sex, Food, Me.
• Any further complaints can be directed toward my arse, where I'm sure you'll receive a warm response.
• If Jesus loves me, he can join the queue with everybody else.
• Let's all go be happy in front of some miserable people.
• Shark Cuddling: The new extreme sport
• Hmmm... PVC and duct tape. Superhero, or evil mastermind?
• I'm Captain Bollocks of the Good Ship Scrotum
• I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers!
• I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat.
• Kiss my imperial arse, you Jedi mutha-fucka!
• Poltergoat! Baaaahhhhhhh.
• That's right. Creme anglaise, mother fucker.